Link and Me
by Gipsydanger04
Summary: Guess Who's back! RETORICAL QUESTION FARLEY! 5 LAPS! Anyways This is a comedy! Rated M for- WHY DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU! Anyways this story will be a reader insert for the ladies. sorry guys! I'm not really into making stories for male peeps X male peeps or female peeps X female peeps. MOVING ON LoZ Dragon ball Z And Halo! yay! well enjoy(Dark LinkxFemale Reader!) Enjoy!


Dis is a comedy my lovelies enjoy! Plus me you and other peeps get to be in it! And the old man is from the best Zelda rap ever here's the Link haha get it? watch?v=0m9QUoW5KnY

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"Liinnnk!"

"What?" Link asked. I walked beside him and looked at his face suspiciously, He looked at me with wide eyes.

"Hi" Link laughed.

"My name is Link y'all I'm straight outta Hyrule been on force o' good since 1982 old school." Link walks into a cave and pulls out his bow and is about to shoot an octorok and I'm smiling my arse off. "I'm Bringing you a laid back summer time jam." Then an old man comes out of a pot.

"Hold on a minute Link." Link looks at him

"Hey what's up old man." He lets go of his arrow and the octorok explodes. The old man now stands in front of Link. I move behind Link and watch carefully.

" I see that you're embarkin' on another epic quest gonna use your ocarina to rescue the princess but you'll need a magic weapon that'll never ever miss it's dangerous to go alone take this!"

"oh thanks old man that is really very nice, I can always count on you for help and friendly advice." link bends over and looks at the 'Item'. I come out from behind him and look at what he's looking at and freeze. "Thought I've never seen a sword of quite that shape or size," his eyes widen and he covers my eyes and I hold his hand there. "OH GOD THATS NOT A SWORD, that's your d**k in disguise."

"Yes I cant lie I have painted my schween now grab your destiny if you know what I mean," Link grabs my hand and walks out of the cave. "Wait a minute Link don't leave the cave where do you think you're going? This is a great chance to fondle a scrotum that you're blowing."

"That. Was. Weird but whatever there is no time to lose I got a warp outta Zelda in this chilled out groves," We teleport somewhere else. "Wait this isn't Gannons lair this is liberty city looks like Philadelphia but even more the Sh**y." We then stop to rest I sit on a bench and watched Link tinker. "I'm at the corner of dead cop prostitute junction somethin' in my ocarina must've gone and malfunction I got to fix it quickly there is justice to do." I was already glaring at the women who were eyeing Link with a lustful glint then just our luck a strange Limo pulls up so I ready my weapon. stupid creeps...

"Hold on a minute link!" Link looks over at him.

"Old man is that you?" I do a face palm and walk over there to link.

"This is a place you cant survive with just a sword in your wits, Its dangerous to go alone take this!" Me and Link snuggle up to each other and look closer into the limo window.

"Well that's really kinda DAAAA! That's your wrinkled d**k again," I Walked over to Link with a scared expression on my face."Look I know I wear a tunic but I'm not into men." The car explodes sending us both flying. I land on something soft I shook my head and Looked at what I landed on. And saw link looking at me wide eyed. 'Sorry' I mouthed.

"Don't be that way b**ch let me introduce you to my three best friends Mr. Johnson and the juice crew!" We were sitting beside each other with disgusted looks on our faces. "If you see the princess Zelda well you know you're going to grab her," I glared at Link and her shrugged his shoulders. "So why don't you try to come grab my inflatable poo jabber." Link stood up a fixed his hat then helped me up and looked at the old man angrily.

"OH MY GOD!" everything is silent for a minute then Link smiles that the old man had disappeared. "I gotta warp outta here Princess Zelda awaits, gotta defeat Ganondorf before it gets to late. Okay now I really don't know were I am." Link was getting frustrated looking at the map so I started to rub his shoulders.

"Hold on a minute Link." I then squeezed his shoulders a bit tight and he yelled.

"GOD DAMN IT OLD MAN!"

"You're in raccoon city it's a Zombie abyss its dangerous to go alone take-" Link shot an arrow at him and he ducked.

"NO! F**K YOU! f**k you, I'm not giving you a- I'm not touching your we- STOP THE CHILLED OUT GROOVE!" (Oh snap he stopped the groove.) I stood there dumbfounded. "JEEZ!" He was now yelling at the old guy. "You come in here telling me you got a wee-wee weapon?!" the old man stood there with a dumb look on his face that made me giggle. Links eye twitched. "Its not cool, I'm not gonna touch it, I'm not gonna spllllNO!" Link Grabbed my hand and walked away.

"SO is that a 'no' on the hand job?" I come out of nowhere and smack the holy fire out of him. "okay."

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HAHA :3 I inserted myself in here and changed why Link yelled a little bit. but this song belongs to Starbomb I take no credit for the lyrics but I do for me and my actions in here. I hope you enjoyed my lovelies and either this next chapter or the chapter after that will be were you come in I think I will introduce dark Link in the next chapter though. BTW this is a Dark Link X Reader

And don't worry dark Link has learned his lesson so he no more GRRR I'M DARK LINK AND IMMA KILL LINK JUST BECAUSE A CAN RRRR!

Ahhh! okay and one last thing before I go That link up there will have to have you tube but please put the words together the site wouldn't let me... Weird anyways see you next chapter love ya! 3


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